i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
