It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
