Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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