Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
