do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
