i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
