nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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