omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
