i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize