I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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