Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
