Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
