My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
