I need help removing her.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize