I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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