I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
