those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
