drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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