Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
