Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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