What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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