I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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