I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
