Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
