maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
