Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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