talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
