Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
