Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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