If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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