Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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