So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My ATM looks so different sober.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
