The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
