WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
