Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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