I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
