I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
