Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
