Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
