He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Randomize
