Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
