Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
