Ketchup is God's man juice
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Mom said you looked used
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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