I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
