He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
