Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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