i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
