everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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