you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
