Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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