So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize