I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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