y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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