I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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