And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
