I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
